I'm back. I spent a long time in the intellectual wilderness, but now I feel I could type forever. The following is based on real life experiences (mostly).
I love my job. Everybody I talk to loves working there. It’s just that some of my co-workers do things in common areas that make me want to shake them and call their mothers.
I was talking with a co-worker about this phenomenon. She reminded me that the reason rules of etiquette and manners were invented was to try to prevent that sort of reaction. They are common-sense practices that make living and working with other homo sapiens a happier, less homicidal experience. I've put together my idea of a "Top Ten” list of rules of common courtesy for the office. I invite you to send me your favorites to add.
10. If you use the last paper towel, get out a new roll. Don’t leave the last, pathetic, pasted-on sheet on the now all-but-empty roll and say, “But I didn’t take the last one.” You will expend mere seconds getting out a new roll.
9. If you spill something, clean it up, whether it is in the pantry, the cafeteria, on any floor, IN THE MICROWAVE, or anywhere else.
8. If you must use a speakerphone, do it in a room with a door and close the door. It is really irritating to have to hear both ends of a conversation – and the echo of at least one side of that conversation!
If I were Empress of the Universe, I would sentence people who use the speakerphone to chat with people in the same open office area to a week locked in a room with bubblegum music from the ‘60s (“Sugar, Sugar”) being played on speakerphones 24/7. (Some might call that harsh. I call it punishment fitting the crime.)
7. If you are talking with one or more people for more than just a minute, take it to a room with a door – and close the door! Solving your business problems is vital, it might even be interesting to someone else, but it shouldn’t get in the way of other people getting their work done.
6. If you are having an extended cell phone conversation, take it to a privacy room.
I’m not talking about the 20-second call in the afternoon to make sure your child is safely home from school. I’m talking about the marathons you get into with your mother (or mother-in-law – Yikes!) about who’s responsible for making what at the family reunion and why your nephew collects spiders and the things your great-aunt does when she drinks tequila.
· Thing 1 – Your private life is nobody else’s business. Do you really want the entire office to know that you’re making a doctor’s appointment to get a mole shaped like Sonic the Hedgehog removed? I don’t think so.
· Thing 2 – Your co-workers do NOT want to hear it. A mole shaped like Sonic the Hedgehog? Eeeewwww.
5. If the printer runs out of paper, refill it.
4. If the printer won’t print, the scanner won’t scan, or the machine won’t work without jamming, don’t just walk away and leave the solution to someone else. Ask for help from tech support. For extra brownie points, put a sticky note on the printer saying that it is out of order, and that the proper authorities have been notified.
3. If you are talking to someone in the open office space, modulate your voice so that the rest of the office doesn’t have to hear you. This is a lesson I personally learned the hard way. I still get too loud if I get “emotional,” which happens most often on payday.
2. In general, apply this corollary to the the Golden Rule: If you don’t want it done to you, don’t do it to anybody else.
1. If you think these rules don’t apply to you, then YOU are the one that all your co-workers are talking about.
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